Yet Another Chapter Begins...

Wow it has been FOREVER since I last posted. Funny thing, I'm on to the next thing in life. So a little update and what has been on my mind lately...

I am now living back in California with my sister and her family again. I've come back for round two. Not because someone told me to, not because I didn't absolutely LOVE Logan, but because it was what needed to happen next in my life. Logan was good to me. I never imagined I would end up back in California, especially where I felt so right about going up to Utah State this last semester. I loved it up at Utah State and honestly I thought I would be there longer than I was. Throughout this summer I started feeling like maybe going on a mission was the right thing for me... REALLY... the right thing for me. It was an interesting reality because I never REALLY thought I would serve a mission. It was always one of those things that sounded like it would be cool to go and something I wanted to do but never felt like I would actually serve one. Well I started fasting and praying about it... A LOT... It felt right during the summer while I was up at Oakcrest. {a Summer LDS Girls Camp I worked for}. Well this past semester was a big change for me... like HUGE... I didn't know what to do and I felt confused so I decided to go in a talk with my bishop about a mission. I laid everything out on the table to him and told him EVERYTHING, basically my life story.

For the first time in a very, very long time, if not my whole life I felt like someone understood what I meant; someone got it other than me. I wasn't crazy, it did make sense. I felt so at peace and he opened my mission papers.Due to crazy, confusing, "stuff"

that I won't get into right now, I haven't exactly finished my papers yet but I'm working on them. Well about two weeks after I started my mission papers I met someone... typical right?

It's interesting how you can go so long with no one showing any interest interest whatsoever and then as soon as you start mission papers all of the sudden you are interesting to the opposite sex. Awesome.

Anyway, we dated for about a month and then through fasting and praying about it things didn't feel right. I didn't know if it was just me getting cold feet because I was moving or if it really was just me not feeling right but during my fast I felt like the spirit was telling me that there was something better for both of us elsewhere. So even though it was hard, I broke things off.

I finished of the semester as strong as I could and got ready to move. With so little time and so many people to see, I did my best to say goodbye to those I knew I wouldn't see probably for awhile.

As leaving approached the more doubt and sadness crept into my thoughts. I wanted to go because I knew I was supposed to but it was hard to go. I knew that as long as I listened to the spirit, everything would fall into place. So the night before I left my friend Melissa and I threw a little Holiday party and it was good to be able to see my friends and be able to say goodbye.

When I woke up the next morning I felt numb. I couldn't believe the day I was moving out

actually came. It almost felt like a bad dream. I was hoping it was a little bit. Packing my stuff into my dad's car and barely being able to fit it, reality started to set in. I really am leaving.

It's not something that I'm going to be talking about anymore but it is actually happening. Pulling out of Logan was bitter-sweet.

It was such a good chapter of my life. Short. But so great. I did a lot of growing and learning there. I hope to return someday. When we finished moving all my stuff home we headed for the Salt Lake Valley. In the winters now-a-days my parents live with my grandparents in the city so my dad doesn't have to commute in the snow and it saves a lot of money with snow removal expenses and gas. I wanted to see as many of my friends as possible so I tried to strategically plan my time for the few days I had left in Utah. I was able to see almost all the people I wanted to see but unfortunately not all. I hate not being able to be in five places at once sometimes. I was able to see some of my Oakcrest friends, High School friends, and my cousin Thomas.

Monday was finally here. I honestly could NOT believe it. It didn't feel real. I woke up early so my mom and I could work out some problems with my blood test for my mission papers. It was a mess. I came home and finished packing and that was it. My dad gave me a blessing and they took me to the airport. I felt like crying. I was scared and unsure. I know that it was Satan taking a toll on me but it was working. It was hard. I had to buy a book to read to keep my mind off things and I'm not even much of a reader.

The plane ride was nice and short and I was in California. My sister came to pick me up and it was a great reunion being with her. The next week we anxiously awaited for my sister to have her baby. There were a few false alarms but she waited until after Christmas to join us. Christmas was fabulous. It was very different to be away from my parents and my usual Christmas but it was fun to be with the Sharp family. Two days after Christmas my niece was finally born. It was such an incredible experience. My sister that I am living with {Melanie} has her children at home with a midwife.

It is a very interesting, and different option that our culture isn't familiar with or really accepts. I remember when I first found out with her first baby that she was doing this it made me really nervous. The more I've learned about birth and researched it, the more interested I became in what it was like. It was really neat to be able to play a role in this birth and be able to learn so much from this amazing experience. After this experience it makes me wonder why home-birth is so uncommon because it really was a slick process.

I wasn't planning on being present for the birth because I was there to watch after the other kids and keep them entertained and out of the way but where it was at night when she came, the kids were in bed, I was lucky enough to be invited to watch. What an incredible experience it was to be able to watch this new perfect baby join our family. And what a miracle birth really is.

It was very emotional and I am grateful that I was able to participate in such an amazing event.

Life is good. It's sometimes challenging and unpredictable, but good.

As this year is coming to a close and I have been reflecting on my year and I have realized that it has been a big year in my life. So much has happened and I have learned so much. It has definitely been a year for the books and I feel blessed. I found a quote the other day that really struck me and I haven't been able to get it off my mind. It says, "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one." How true that is. This is a new chapter in my life. Even though the last one was short, I am on to the next one. I know that I am in the right place doing the right things. I know that as long as I stay close to the spirit, everything will fall into place. I keep feeling anxious and excited to see what is next in my life because I know that it's going to be big and it's going to be great. I have a nice plan in mind for myself but I know that the lord knows me so much better than I know myself and he can come up with something far better than I could even imagine. I feel so blessed and I am ready to take on this coming year and anxious to see what it has in store for me. To the year 2012... Happy New Year Everyone!

Difficult to Understand...

At the close of this day I find myself a little on the down side. I'm trying to understand why I feel so good about something and then all of the sudden I don't. Leaving Cedar City was much harder than I thought it would be. I thought I was ready for something new. I thought I was ready to move on. I'm not saying I'm not, I'm just saying it has been a lot harder than I ever imagined. The reality is slowly sinking in that I'm not going back this Fall. Cedar is no longer home to me, I'm the visitor when I go there and it is not only weird but hard. I may be getting ahead of myself but this is how I feel right now. I get to go down tomorrow for one of my friend's bridal shower/bachelorette party which I'm totally excited about but I'm just kind of bummed. I miss my friends, I miss my life. I know that change is good and I'm excited to see what the next chapter in my life has to hold but I'm just sad that the people in the last chapter of my life aren't going to be an everyday or even probably very often occurrence in this new chapter of my life.

I know transferring up to Utah State is what I'm supposed to do. It wasn't just a random thought that popped into my head one day, nor was it an easy decision. I have fasted and prayed about it and I feel like that is where the lord wants me to go, it's just {difficult to understand} sometimes of why. Staying in Cedar City is what makes sense. It is were I have established my home away from home. It is where all my friends are. It is where I had an amazing job with amazing people. It makes sense. I guess what I am learning through this process is that sometimes what makes the most sense, isn't what is necessarily right. I know that the lord is mindful of me, I just need to trust in him that everything is going to work out and that there is a reason I am doing this. It is going to be hard, but I know I can't do it without his help.

I'm looking forward to being able to see all my friends tomorrow and being back where I feel comfortable. I'm hoping it's not going to make me more down though. However, it is up to me whether or not I am going to be happy. I'll do my best to keep a smile on my face through this challenging change.

Xoxo.

M

Thank You . . . for the memories

"People will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

~Bonnie Jean Wasmund

As the summer quickly approaches I can't help but think about how fast this year has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I decided to move out to California and I was headed out there for the summer. Little did I know this time last year that it would be the best summer of my entire life. I remember being scared of the unknown, but I was really ready for a new adventure and to get away and be able to truly figure out who I am, what my testimony is. I was so blessed to meet the people I did. The people in my ward, the people I worked with, my sister's amazing friends, and all the other people that I was able to cross paths with this summer.

I feel like I was touched and influenced by so many people this summer and I am eternally grateful to all of those people and wanted to pay tribute to them today...

I'm grateful for my first friend I made out in California and for my sister introducing me to her. Sam thank you so much for helping me feel

welcome and for introducing me to many people

while I was out there. I miss you and appreciate

you and your friendship to me. You will forever

be my friend and I feel so blessed to have you as

a friend in my life.

To all my work friends, Jillian and Jesse my wonderful bosses and Jonathan, Sabrina, and Anthony my Manager and assistant managers were the best! And my favorite co-workers, Jeff, Matt, and Mark. I had an amazing experience working with all you people.

You are some of the most amazing people I will ever know and I am going to miss you all so much this summer, truly. Hopefully I will get to see some of you if I end up coming out at the end of the summer. :)

For all the amazing people in my ward. The

amazing relief society and priesthood. For the amazing bishopric and just everything. Just to mention a few names:

Sydney, Jessica, Leighann, Melody, Luke, and all the Living Scripture boys. I seriously lived for going to church and activities because this was my chance to be around people with the same standards as me and I'm so grateful for that.

From beach activities to volleyball nights,

anytime I was able to spend with these amazing people, it was always a good time. My testimony

grew so much over the summer and am forever

indebted to the Monta Vista Ward and for all that they taught me about myself and helped me

understand why the gospel is such an important part of my life. Thank you for all of your examples to me and for the love you all showed me as I lived out there last summer. Oh how I wish I was returning to the Bay Area for the summer, however there are other things in store for me this summer but I will hopefully be back sometime in August to visit.

How could I forget the whole Clark Pest Control Company working in the Bay Area? I had the amazing opportunity to spend quite a lot of time with these boys and I had a blast.

Special thanks to Shawn for taking us out on so many fun outings and for always making me feel welcome. Thanks to Nate for always keeping life lighthearted and finding something to laugh about. And to Jon for always hanging out with Matt and I and for attempting to teach me to play the guitar, maybe someday. haha Thanks to Spencer and Tricia for hanging out with us too and for all the chats we were able to have with them. Thanks to Regan for allowing me to hang around so much and for allowing me to get to know him and his family. Thanks to Matt for all the memories and for all the things I was able to learn from him. I was able to create some memories with Clark that I will always remember.

I was able to have one of my best friends close to me throughout the summer. Jenna and I both moved out to California to live with our sisters and work for the summer. It was so nice to have Jenna so close to have a little piece of home in such a foreign place. It was so good to be able to call Jenna up and have a sleepover or even just to hit up the beach together.

I have been down at SUU with Jenna for 2 years now and am sad to say I'll be leaving and won't be so close to her anymore but know that we will be friends forever. I am so grateful for my friendship with Jenna and look forward to many more memories to come with her.

I had the opportunity of living with my amazing sister and her cute family for an entire summer. They opened their home to me so freely and were so nice to host me for the summer.

They were so amazing to allow me to be in their hair and to help me with everything as far as giving me a place to sleep, finding me a bike to use for the summer, feeding me, teaching me life lessons, and so much more. I will never be able to thank this amazing family enough for all that they have done for me and continue to do for me in my life. I look up to you and your family so much Melanie and I miss you all so much it hurts. I'm looking forward to being with you again soon and wish I was coming back but appreciate you constant love and concern for me even though we are so far away from one another. I miss waking up to the kids' faces every morning and for my late night chats with you and Phil, not to mention our on-going battles of Blokus. I love you all so much and will forever hold my California memories dear and thank you again, for if it weren't for you all, none of this amazing summer would've been possible. So thank you thank you again and again.

Lastly, through Melanie I was able to meet some of her amazing friends who throughout the summer became my friends. I would just like to thank Sarah, Erin, and Megan for their amazing examples of amazing mothers, friends, sisters, and women they are in my life and the lives of many that surround them.

Talk about true friends, these women are all there for each other no matter what. The willingness they have to serve each other was just amazing to me and set a tremendous example to me. Thank you so much for allowing me to tag along and learn so much from the both of you. I love you both so much and will never be able to thank you enough for your examples of true friendship and love to me. I'm so grateful that I was able to get to know your children as well. What sweet, beautiful spirits they all have and it was an honor to have them call me "Aunt Mer" by the end of the summer. I can't wait to see you all when I come out and hopefully visit at the end of the summer. (hint, hint to Mel ;) ) You are all beautiful inside and out! :)

So as I come to the close of this post I am grateful. Grateful for the amazing memories that were created last summer and for all the amazing people that made up those memories. I was able to meet some of the most amazing people I will probably ever meet in my life within the short period of a summer and I am forever grateful to them for allowing me to be a part of their lives and for them being a part of mine. They have all truly touched my life in such a way that has made me change and want to be a better person and I am forever grateful for that. Thanks for the memories... Summer of 2010 was only filled with good ones. Love you all!

Missing all of you-

Merilee

Thank You . . . for your faith

"Thanks for showing me that even on the darkest, rainiest days the sun is still there, just behind the clouds, waiting to shine again."
~Lisa Harlow

Today I would like to pay tribute to my wonderful parents and for the faith that they have had for me and continue to have for me. I am the 12th blessed child that my parents have together and I am equally grateful for them as my 11 siblings. My parents are the ultimate examples of faith. I know us outsiders can only imagine the faith these people have but I have witnessed the faith these two have excerised throughout my life. The faith that it must have taken to have not just a couple of kids but 13 and to love and care for each of them the same. Through many hardships and miscarriages getting all of us here, I'm grateful they never lost faith or I probably wouldn't be here. My parents have been through some of the most difficult trials I have ever had to see people go through and even when times get rough and hard, they seem to continue to have faith and know that everything will work out. They know that the lord is on their side and they have taught us that from a very young age. My parents have been so supportive throughout my life and have always been those cute parents at every soccer game or Drill Team performance or competition, even though they have seen the same dance 893748923 times. My parent's have always allowed me to follow my dreams and do and go where I want and need to go to fufill those dreams and aspirations. Like I said, they have faith that I will trust in the lord and that everything will work out if I just have faith and trust in the lord. I'm grateful for my parent's and for the faith they have in me. Even when I make a mistake, they always seem to have faith in me. I appreciate their love and examples in my life and am so blessed to be thier daughter and be able to call them my parents. I love you both and appreciate your love for me.

All my heart and more,

Your baby girl

Simply Happy

Today I had one of those days that was just really good. As I have thought about the past month of my life I can honestly say that I am just simply happy. It has been awhile since I feel like I can honestly say that. All it took was for me to just "Stop and Smile" and just step back and realize how blessed I am in my life. I have such an amazing life and so many amazing people cheering me on in the race of life. It's the simple things in life that make me so happy whether it's simply going on a picnic with one of my lovely roommates or going for a nice jog at sunset on a warm spring evening. I just had one of those yummy days where I have just been at peace and so happy. My life has been so crazy busy lately with trying to get everything ready to move home and get everything ready to transfer, getting my runs in as I continue to prepare for my race, and finishing up school but today I feel like I was able to just escape all that stress and anxiety for a day and just enjoy life. Today I'm happy with where I am in life and where I'm going. I'm happy with the person I am and with the person I am becoming. Things in life are looking up even though things are hard. I'm sad to close such an amazing chapter in my life, but I'm anxious to see what the next one has to offer. So take a minute and just "Stop and Smile," think about what you are grateful for and the things that bring you happiness in life.

Life is good.

Xoxo,

Me

Today's Thoughts. . .

Today I received my official acceptance letter to Utah State. There has been a lot of prayer and a lot of trust in the lord that has gone into this decision. I know that there has been a lot of criticism whether it has been stated out loud or not but it has been hard to put that judgement aside and go with what I feel is right even though I know not everyone has agreed with my decision. There has been a lot of support too, don't get me wrong, but I have learned that you can never make everyone happy. I know that this decision is right and that I needed to take this leap of faith and listen to my heart. I know that with the help of the lord, I can get through this new journey. There have been a lot of other voices and a lot of opinions about my decisions in life, which are important to me but above all I have learned you have to to listen to your heart and listen to the spirit in everything. I know this is the right thing for me in my life and I know that the lord is on my side.

Thank You . . . for your inspiration

"I am grateful for whatever helps my spirit grow."

~Florida Calloway

Today as I reflect on who to thank this particular quote reminded me of my young women leaders growing up. As my life as a teenager has come to a close, I often think of these women who helped me battle life as a teenager. They have all helped me learn so much and I still reflect on the lessons and counsel they gave me just a few years ago. It's weird to think that I've been an old Relief Society lady for almost three years now. I am grateful for all the fun memories I will forever hold dear and for all the amazing examples I had growing up in the Woodland Ward Young Women. I have had far too many Young Women leaders to even begin to try and start naming but you all know who you are. Thank you for your incredible examples to me and for always loving me and looking out for me. I am grateful that I can still see them all when I go home to visit and that we are still close. Thank you for always checking up on me and making sure I'm doing alright.

I am especially lucky to have one of my Young Women Presidents as my best friends mom and as my adoptive mom. Paula you are amazing and I look up to you so much. You are strong and beautiful and I am so blessed to have you as such a big part of my life. Thank you for always welcoming me into your home and for making me feel part of the family almost. You home has been one of the places I feel the most safe and comfortable throughout the years and I can't thank you enough for that.

As I was looking back at my pictures I couldn't find any pictures of me with my leaders which makes me so sad but you all know who you are. I know that I wouldn't be the person I am today without your examples, counsel and inspiration. I learned in Young Women that church callings really are inspired. I saw that with the women that were called to work with me and the girls I was in Young Women with and I have seen it in my Singles Wards I've been in and the callings I have had. This summer I am going to be working up at Oakcrest Girls Camp and I hope that I can make girls camp as fun and spiritual as all of my leaders did for me. I'm looking forward to being able to reflect on my Girls Camp experiences and to be close to home where all those amazing, inspired women still are. Some have come and gone, but they are mostly still all up in Woodland. I love you all and I'm grateful for you all in my life. Thanks for everything.

Keep on Keepin' on,

Merilee

Thank You . . . for listening

"I felt it shelter to speak to you."

~ Emily Dikinson

Today I would like to dedicate my blog post to all of you who have ever lent a listening ear to me. I can't narrow it down to one individual because there have been far too many who have been so helpful and have helped me through so many hard times throughout my life by simply listening. If you know me, you know that I am really open and I have a hard time keeping things that are bothering to myself. It's not that I can't be trusted with things that are supposed to be left unsaid, it's just when I am bothered by something or something is on my mind I am better off if I can talk about it verses bottling it up inside. I know that a lot of times I can be a broken record and talk about the same issue over and over again, but it is just the way I work. I like it when people open up to me and feel comfortable venting and talking to me, and I appreciate all the people who have allowed me to do the same. I can't even start naming those people because I know that I would forget some names but you all know who you are. Thank you to all of you for lending an ear and for simply listening even when you haven't necessarily wanted to. I'm so blessed to have so many amazing friends and people in my life that love and support me enough to be there for me whenever I need them. I am grateful for all of you. Thank you Thank you!

Much love and appreciation to you all-

Merilee

Thank You . . . for sharing your thoughts

"You gave me your time, the most thoughtful gift of all."

~ Dan Zadra

Today I have decided to focus on my sister Allie. Allie and I have grown close throughout the last few years. We have come a long way and have learned to love each other. Allie has given me words of wisdom and has shared her thoughts with me about many different aspects of life. She has offered me many words of comfort and words of wisdom. I can't even count the number of times I have called Allie completely hysterical. I call her when good things happen too but for some reason she is one of the first I call when I am going through something and I need to calm down. Allie has set such a high standard for me to live up to and she has set such an amazing example to me and many that surround her. She is fun-loving, smart, and funny. I have missed living away from Allie. During my last days of High School I feel like I was down staying with her and Tanner close to ever weekend. I have missed spending so much time with them but try to squeeze them in when I come to visit. Allie and I have become close sisters and have showed sisterly love but we have also become good friends. I have always looked up to Allie and her friends. She has some of the best friends any girl could ever hope and dream for and I have always wanted that in my life. Fortunately enough I have found those friends in my life it has just taken a little longer for me to find them.

I appreciate Allie for taking so much time to listen to me like a broken record about my feelings and concerns about anything and everything. I'm grateful for her being so open and honest with me and for helping me through some of the hardest things I have had to face in my life. Thanks so much Allie for everything you've done for me. I look up to you more than you know and hope that someday I can be half as amazing as you. Allie is an amazing wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. She plays every role in her life well and she is an amazing person to have in your life. I feel so blessed to have Allie as a sister and will forever cherish the fun times and the hard we have had together. Thanks for all the words of encouragement, for the ongoing faith you have exercised in my behalf, and for simply making time for me in your life. It feels so good to know that someone is cheering me on when sometimes it doesn't feel like many are. You're the best and I am so blessed to have you as a sister and friend. I love you-

With all my heart and more,

Mer

Thank You . . . for caring

"The people who make a difference are not the ones with the credentials, but the ones with the concern."

~Max Lucado

Today my thoughts turned straight to Marla. Marla has become one of my closest, greatest friends this year. I have talked about Marla before but I'm going to talk about her again. If I could choose a definition for caring I would choose Marla. She honestly cares for the well-being of others including me. She is always checking up on me and making sure I'm doing alright and seeing what she can do for me. Marla has had an amazing year and has had many changes and challenges to face in her life this past year. I look up to her and her faith she has exercised through everything. Thank you for always showing me the love Marla and for always looking out for me. Marla is an amazing friend to all and would literally lay her life down for one of her friends. Marla, you are an amazing woman and I'm blessed to be able to call you one of my best friends. Thank you for all the drives and talks and for always helping restore my faith in hopeless situations. You have a power and a strength that leaves me in awe and I've been so impressed with you and your strength. I'm going to miss you when I am away, but you are a hand print on my heart and will be my friend forever. I love you and can't thank you enough for this past year and for everything you have done and continue to do for me and others. You are an amazing example to me and you have helped me learn and grow so much this past year. You're the best Marla! Thanks for caring for me.

Much love,

Merilee

Thank You . . .for seeing the silver lining

"We can always depend on some people to make the best, instead of the worst, of whatever happens."

~Sandra Wilde

I have been surrounded by positive influences my entire life but today I would like to highlight my wonderful sister Heidi.

Heidi is married to my brother Jake and they have beautiful Jillian. I have loved Heidi from the first night I met her. She is so down to earth and is funny and kind to all. Heidi is beautiful inside and out and truly has the light of Christ in her eyes. Heidi has helped me through a lot and has set a continuous example to me in every way. The reason I chose to focus on Heidi today is because Heidi is one of the happiest, most positive people I know. She is always helping others look at the bright side of things and truly seeing the silver lining in all aspects of life. Heidi has been through some really challenging trials in her life and she has set an amazing example to me to trust in the lord and to look for the lessons to be learned in my trials. She has helped me try and see myself through god's eyes and has helped me understand true beauty. Heidi is a living example of faith and continues to exercise faith in all things. Heidi thank you for being such a positive example in my life. Thank you for helping me see the good things in life and for always being so willing to listen when I need to talk.

You have helped me in more ways then one and I will never be able to thank you enough for your amazing example to me and to the many people you come in contact with. I couldn't have picked a better match for my amazing brother Jake and I'm glad that you two found each other. Your relationship gives me hope that someday I will find my perfect match. I love you and thank you again for always seeing the silver lining and looking at the hopeful things in life. You're the best!!

Much love and appreciation,

Mer

March Madness

I know this is a late post but due to computer issues and being super busy I'm just now getting around to this.

The month of March was crazy, so hold on to your hats folks because this is going to be a long post. A lot has changed in my life and a lot has happened, so here's the DL on my life this past month.

So to kick off the month of March anticipation for Spring Break was high. Spring fever was in the air and we were ready for a vacation. At the beginning of the month

Izach came down to visit which was really fun to see him and be able to spend some time with him. March was filled with various dance concerts.

I went to the Step Show, Polynesian Dance Show, and Dancing

with the Stars.This year my dear Jenna DeGering was crowned Dancing with the Stars Queen of SUU! So that was fun to be able to watch her in that. She was amazing!

After a crazy week of trying to get everything turned in and midterms taken, Spring Break was approaching. My birthday fell on the Saturday of Spring Break so I decided this year

that I wanted to spend my birthday with the women who mean most to me in my life, my sisters mom and grandma's. I headed for home the evening of the 10th and had a lot to do over the break before our trip to California. I had planned to go and check out some options for transferring because I knew that I would need to transfer in the near future due to my latest dreams and aspirations as far as a career goes. Like I have mentioned, I have decided to study Speech Pathology and SUU does not provide that program so I knew that transferring was a must if I wanted to follow that path. So the evening of the 10th I received a call from one of the jobs I had applied for, for the summer. It was for the Oakcrest position. I was running when they

called me, but they left a voicemail so I called back to get details. I was planning on going to the temple early the next morning to see if I could receive some inspiration of what I should do in the approaching Summer and Fall. At this point I was just ready for some answers, but I knew that I had to do my part by researching different ideas and praying A LOT about what the lord wanted to me to do so I could figure out what he has in store for me. As I was talking to the girl I asked her if I could have a couple of days to pray about it and to make sure that Oakcrest was the right thing for me. She respected that but asked me if I would let her know by the evening of the 11th. I was scared. That was one day to figure everything out.

But I had faith that I would receive an answer if I attended the temple and that I would have clarity on what to do. I called Kate on my way home from the gym to break the news to her that I was most likely going to be living up in Woodland for the summer and I was curious what her plan was for the summer. So I rushed home from the gym and told my mom the news. She was excited for me but suggested that I attend the temple the next morning, as I was planning to do so, to see how I felt about it. I was so excited about this opportunity, but I had applied for some other jobs that would be equally an amazing experience.

The next morning I attended the temple. I felt so at peace and just genuinely happy to be there. I wanted to be able to sit and ponder in the temple and if you go alone you get in and out pretty quick. So after I was through with baptisms I wanted to find a quiet place where I could just sit, ponder, and pray. There is a little bathroom just out from the dressing rooms that is kind of tucked away that not many people use so I decided I would just go in there and sit in a stall while I studied my scriptures. It was small and a little funny I was just hanging out in a bathroom stall but it was honestly one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in the temple. I just sat and read my scriptures and pondered about how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I love doing baptisms because I can truly feel those spirits of the people I am doing the work for and it is amazing. I feel like the room of the baptismal font is filled with people who love those I'm doing the work for, and they have just waited so long for these ordinances to be done and I am able to do that work for them. So I was just overwhelmed by love and peace. As I was reading my scriptures the scripture 1 Nephi 3:7 "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" popped into my head. I know this is a random scripture but at that point and as I read on I realized that Oakcrest was what I was supposed to do. I couldn't think of a more amazing opportunity than to spend my summer serving these daughters of god and helping them learn the gospel. An entire summer where I'm focusing on others instead of myself, not mention I could totally avoid worrying about boys for a few months. I was so at peace. The car ride home was pleasant. I felt content and just good about life.

When I got back to my grandma's my mom asked how I was feeling and I simply just said, "I feel so at peace." I left it at that. I was excited to go up and check out the University of Utah that day

too! I was able to connect up with my friend Kathleen and she accompanied me to check it out. On my way to go pick Kathleen up I got the impression to call Oakcrest and accept the job right then. There was a little voice in my head that said, "If you don't do it now, you're not going to do it." So I called and accepted. Kathleen and I pulled up to the U and I was excited. I walked up to the Admissions office and explained what I needed help with. The man at the desk didn't hesitate to direct me to the website and tried to tell me I could find all of this online.

First of all, the University of Utah's website is so confusing and I had a hard time finding ANYTHING on there when I had been on there before, and second of all, I did not drive all the way up to the U to find out that I wasn't going to be able to sit down with someone and just have someone help me. I asked if I could meet with someone, he said no. He took my stuff and gave it to someone who basically told me NOTHING would transfer. I was frustrated. I just wanted to talk to a counselor about my credits and details about my situation. Leaving the U empty handed and disappointed I didn't know what to do. Maybe Utah State was the answer. I felt so good about the U until I had fasted the week before and I got the feeling that I just needed to look into Utah State more. I had been very resistant to this idea because of previous events in my life and I was scared. I knew in the back of my mind that I have always wanted to go to Utah State but I was just so scared. My mind was full of all the what if's and doubts. But I was patient and was planning on checking out Utah State the following Monday.

That night I decided I wanted to go spend the night with my beautiful, wonderful sister Allie and her cute family because I missed them and we hadn't spent time together for a long time (not to mention I get to sleep in a bed when I go visit them too. :) ) So Allie came and picked me up and we had a lovely time. We were catching up and I was telling her my plans and concerns about everything and all of the sudden there was someone at the door. It was pretty late so it was odd that someone was stopping by, but little did I know it was Kate surprising me for my birthday!!!

Kate had returned back to Cedar the night before I was headed up North for my birthday and

wasn't thinking she would be able to swing driving up for my birthday because she was already spending money on gas and putting a lot

of miles on her car for our trip to California for later that week. I was so surprised and I was so excited that my best friend could be with me on my birthday as well. The next morning we woke up and did a little birthday shopping before my Lunch with all my sisters. I was so excited to be able to spend my birthday with just my sisters, mom, grandma's and best friend. It meant so much to me that they all took time out of their busy lives to come celebrate my birthday with me. Not all of my sisters were there but most of them were and it was just fun to be able to have a Girl's Day together and catch up. They are all so amazing and I'm so grateful for each of them in my life. Afterward, Kate went to meet up with her grandparents while I went to go do my long run for the week at the gym. After that, I came home and got ready and my mom had made my birthday dinner with all my favorite things. Following dinner Kate and I wanted to go out, so we went and saw a movie. The next day we woke up early and headed out to Draper to hear my brother Steve and sister Tina speak in church and to sit with the kids. I'm so grateful for them and their examples to me in my life. They did a fantastic job and I'm so glad they are back in Utah and close to home again, we have missed them as they have been away for so long. After church Kate and I went to visit her cousins and uncle and then we made a trip out to Sugar House to visit my favorite Aunt Dawn and Uncle Jon because I hadn't seen them in so long. I was good to be able to catch up with them. The next morning we got up early because Kate was headed back to Cedar to work and I was headed up to Logan to check out Utah State and to get my haircut.

On our way up to Logan I remember being nervous. I was hoping that they would be a better answer than the U and more helpful, but I was scared at the same time because all I could think about was the elephant in the room. I remember thinking, what are you doing Merilee, you know who goes to this school. I was scared but I knew that I was supposed to give it a chance and I just said a prayer in my heart that I would know what to do and that I would receive an answer. As I pulled up to campus I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I finally figured out where I was supposed to be for my appointment with my counselor. As soon as I got in her office I just laid out my questions.

I think that she got a sense for how overwhelmed I was and she calmed me down and started answering my questions one by one. About a half hour later our meeting was over and she was SO helpful. It was nice to have someone to take the time of day to just help answer the questions I had and help me figure out what to do. It was then that I knew. I headed back to my sisters house so she could cut my hair before my tour of the campus. She was telling me that if I decided to go up there that I was more than welcome to live with them and everything just seemed to make sense and just started falling into place. I headed back up to campus for my tour and honestly right when I stepped onto campus I knew that I was in the right place. The tour was pretty boring because I was the only transfer student so a lot of the information was for Freshman and basic knowledge I already knew but I just wanted to see the campus and what there was for me there. It just felt right. It was a lot bigger than I thought so that was relieving to know that I wouldn't run into him all the time. I had a good talk with some of the recruiting staff and basically just said "Sign me up, I love this place!" I was able to meet up with my good friend Chanae' and told her the news that I was planning on transferring this next Fall. After chatting with her for awhile, I headed back for my sister's house and was feeling really confident about my decision. I was scared and I didn't know all the details, but it was okay, I just knew that everything would work out. As soon as I got to my sisters I told Emily and my mom, "I think this is what I'm supposed to do, this is where I need to be next Fall." They were both happy to see me at peace and so confident. My mom and I headed home and that was it. I called Kate and told her the news. She was so supportive and even though we both knew that it was going to be hard, she has supported me no matter what. It has been very bittersweet. Throughout this whole decision process I was been very prayerful and have tried to keep the lord and his plan for me in mind. As I was reading my scriptures one day I came upon the scripture 2 Nephi 28:31 "Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost." This scripture has helped me get through everything. All I have to do is trust in the lord and he will make up for the rest. Sometimes situations are scary and you don't have all the answers but if we can just trust in the lord in all things, he will help us. I know that going to Utah State is the right thing. I don't have all the answers but I do know that with the help of the lord, I will be able to open this next chapter of my life with confidence and peace.

The next morning I was headed back to Cedar. As soon as I got home I had to pack up to leave again.

Wednesday morning we pulled out of Cedar and made our way to Vegas. We stopped by St. George and hung out with our friend Dee for awhile and then made our way to Vegas. Thanks to my cute cousin and her cute family, we were able to spend a night in Henderson. Her and Ryan were so nice to let us crash on their couch for a night and it was fun to be able to see them and catch up with them. Thanks so much you guys!! We pulled out of Vegas the next morning and were on our journey to California! We were so excited to just lay out and have nothing to think about, especially when so much had happened in the last few days for me and my future plans. We had a fun, long, drive to Cali and finally pulled up to our hotel around 5. We got settled in and then went and got something to eat and topped it off with a little "fro yo" of course.

mmm mmm good. I had missed all the yummy fro yo shops I used to go to often when I lived in

California. We spent the rest of our first night just hanging out and relaxing. That night I got an email from BYU hiring telling me that I got the EFY job I applied for. I wanted that job so bad but I didn't know what to do. I had already accepted the Oakcrest position. I knew that everything would work out but I was feeling confused again. I just had to keep faith that everything would work out and try and not worry about it too much. We were pretty tired from our trip so we checked out pretty early.

The next day we were able to sleep in a bit and then we were off to the beach. We spent the entire day just laying out and relaxing. It was a little overcast but warm enough to lay out. We beach hopped a bit and then got some yummy Clam Chowder from the famous "The Crab Cooker" to warm up a bit. We had been in touch with some friends that were staying in the same area so we headed back to our hotel to shower and get ready. While Kate and Lys were showering I decided I should probably go running, so I headed down to the small, pretty much ghetto gym our hotel had to offer to get my running done. While I was running I was thinking about my cousin Tess who lives in L.A. and who I haven't seen for a really long time. I didn't know how far L.A. was but I texted her to see if there was anyway possible we could see each other for the short amount of time I would be in California. Well I called her after I went running and it all seemed to work out that she was coming to spend the night with us! So as soon as Tess arrived we headed to the beach for a bonfire with our friends staying in the area. We had a good time hanging with them and hitting up Denny's. It was so good to be able to see Tess. The next morning we woke up and Tess had to head but we decided we were going to go shopping. It was pretty overcast and we just wanted to lay low for the day and got enough of the beach the day before. So we hit up the mall and some shopping centers as well as a really yummy little cafe'. That afternoon we were able to go and see the Newport Temple as well as Balboa Island. The temple was gorgeous and walking up and down the pier at Balboa Island was classic!! That night we decided we were going to celebrate my birthday and Alyssa treated me to the classy Red Robin that we all love so much, our home away from home. It was a good time. We headed back to our hotel room and settled in for the night. Kate and I busted out the Phase 10 and we just laughed and cried the night away between that and the movie The Switch.

The day was already here that we had to head back to The City of Lights. We woke up early and finally made it in time to breakfast. We got ready and headed out. We were sad to see California go but it was nice to finally arrive back safe and sound back in our little home again.

School started up again and the thought of the end of the year was near. I had so much to do and so little time. I applied to Utah State and started taking care of business one step at a time. I just had to keep the faith that everything would fall into place as long as I did my part. I was also stressing about what to do for the summer. I was so excited about Oakcrest but I wanted to do EFY too. Well to throw another option to the mix. I got a phone call that week that the job I applied for out in California, they wanted to hire me too. As flattering as it was to get every job I

applied for, now I had to make a tough decision. I didn't know what to do. Through a lot of prayer and trust in the lord, I finally decided to stick with Oakcrest. I felt like it was right and I know that I am supposed to be there this summer with those girls.

As all of my plans were working out and everything started to seem to fall into place, reality started setting in. I was so excited about the months to come and to see what my future had in store for the next year or so, but I was beginning to realize how different my life would look like in the next semester and year. I realized I'm going to be in a completely new place, with completely new people. I like the thought of meeting so many new people and having new experiences in my life but the reality of leaving behind all the people I love was a hard thought.

I have had such an amazing experience at SUU and it's sad to see that chapter of my life close. I'm mostly sad to have to leave the people in my life behind. I will keep in touch but I'm just going to see them everyday. I'm looking forward to the new chapter in my life but I know it's not going to be easy. But hey, life wasn't meant to be easy right? I know that I'm in the right place and I'm headed in the right direction. The lord is on my side and all I have to do is trust in him. The month of March was crazy. I made a lot of important decisions, but I'm ready. I'm ready for this next adventure to come.

Farewell March 2011, it's been a fun run, now let's live it up April 2011 for after this month my time here is dun. (done, my attempt of a little rhyme. Don't judge me.)

Much love and gratitude for all the people who have loved and supported me,

Merilee

Thank You . . . for being so thoughtful

"My heart gives thanks for empty moments given to dreams, and for thoughtful people who help those dreams come true."

~ William S. Braithwaite

I know I know I missed posting yesterday, but I have been having some computer problems and thanks to my dear friend Marla, she is allowing me to use her laptop so I can post today.

As I was thinking about all the thoughtful people in my life, my attention was drawn to a particular individual in my life. Today I would like to honor my dear Desi. I met Desi last year in my singles ward and knew that she was an amazing woman from the first time I heard her bare her testimony. She truly has the light of Christ in her countenance and lives by the gospel. She is an amazing example to everyone she comes in contact with and I look up to her so much for that. Last year Desi was assigned to be my visiting teacher. We didn't have a chance to visit very often due to conflicting schedules but there was one particular time Desi did drop by. I was going through a particularly hard time in my life and not many were aware, not even Desi. She dropped by and I wasn't home but she left a note and a flower for me. I know I share this story a lot but I truly know because of that instance in my life that the lord does inspire certain individuals to reach out to us. Desi didn't know that such a simple thing was so huge for me, and she probably still doesn't understand how much that little act of kindness truly did for me. She was inspired and she acted on that inspiration. I know that Visiting Teaching is an inspired program through the inspired organization of Relief Society. I am grateful for that knowledge. That is not the only time Desi has shown me kindness. She is constantly showing her love and kindness in small and simple ways to many different people. I appreciate you Desi for always being so thoughtful and for always reaching out to me. I know that you may think nothing of it because it's just who you are but it really does mean the world to me that someone out there is looking out for me. You are an amazing young woman and you are such a strong woman. I look up to you for your strength and faith. I feel so blessed to have you as a friend in my life. I know that we will remain friends for the rest of our lives and I'm so grateful for all you have taught me through your everyday example and the people around you. You are beautiful inside and out and I just couldn't be more grateful for you in my life. Thanks for all you do and for simply being thoughtful!

Much love and more,

Merilee

P.s. I don't currently have a picture of Desi and I but I am working on getting one.

Thank You . . . for being there

"The person we all love and appreciate is the one who's coming in the door when everybody else is going out."

~Mason Canon

As I sit down today to write my daily post I flipped open my Gratitude book to this page. Isn't it ironic that this particular quote landed exactly on my Best Friend's birthday? Today I would like to honor my best friend in the whole world, Kate Beasley. A few days ago I talked about all my roommates, but I wanted to go a little more in depth about Kate and our story as friends. Kate and I have known each other since we were just little girls in primary.

We grew up together but didn't come close until about my Junior Year of High School. I wasn't always the nicest girl to Kate growing up because of jealously issues and being prideful, but Kate has always been so sweet and has always reached out to me. Well my Junior year I was going through a rough time of life. I was trying to figure out who I was and I wasn't surrounding myself with very positive people that supported me. I had an awesome group of guy friends who loved and supported me throughout but I was missing those really amazing girlfriends that I had always dreamed of having like my older sisters. I had a little bit of a falling out with a few of my girl friends and just knew I had to figure something else out. I needed friends to lean on and friends that would love and support me in anything I did. Kate, Tiff, Sara and I started gradually hanging out more and more. I just loved the way I felt when I was surrounded by these girls. They would build me up and there was no such thing as competition between us. We just simply had fun together and we could talk about more serious things without being judged for being different. I was so sick of being in cookie cutter relationships and I had finally escaped that. These girls were literally the answer to my prayers. For over two years there weren't many days I didn't go home everyday in tears wishing that I could just have good friends. I was overwhelmed with joy and humbled by the love these girls showed for me as they welcomed me into their friendship group. When I felt completely and utterly alone, these girls stepped in and were there for me. Right when I felt like everyone had walked out on me, they were there.Well as time went on we spent everyday together. The day finally came that I was to graduate from High School. I was so excited to move on from High School, as I think most are, but it was slowly becoming real to me that my girls were still going to be in High School (because they are all a year younger than me)
and I was going to be far away at college. I knew that I was supposed to go to Southern Utah University way down in Cedar City and I didn't know how I was going to live without them. That summer Kate and I got even closer. Tiff was in Peru and so it was just the two of us for the Summer.We spent everyday day together and sleepovers every night was a must. Our relationship and friendship grew so much over that summer. Going away to college was hard but I knew that it was what I needed to do and that we would stay in close contact. Kate has always been there for me. Even though I was hundreds of miles away, anytime ANYTHING happened she was the first person I would call and I was the first person she would call. That was just how it was. Breaks from school were always anticipated so I could go home and spend the weekends with her and Tiff. As my first year of college came to a close, I was trying to figure out what to do for the summer. I really wanted to be able to be with Tiff and Kate over the summer but realized there was no way that I could move back home and be back in Kamas the summer after I graduated. I needed to get far away from everyone and everything. Through lots of praying and fasting, I decided to move out to California and spend the summer working and living with my sister Melanie. The thought of being away from Kate for 3 more months of my life wasn't my favorite thought but I knew we could do it, especially when I knew that we were going to be roommates in the Fall! Kate had planned on going to Snow. Through fasting and prayer again, Kate received the answer she was supposed to come to SUU, I wasn't about to argue with that. So even though we were going to be apart for the summer, it was okay because we held on to the fact that we were going to be able to be together that Fall.

The summer started off on a rough foot. I moved home for the month of May so I could be in Utah for Kate and Tiff's graduation and my niece Tessi's wedding. Being back in Kamas was hard but I was happy I could be there for these important events. I moved out to California the first week of June. I was really lonely and had no friends for the first couple of weeks.

My work training wasn't starting for a few weeks so I spent most of my days with my sister and her cute family but I missed being around people my age. Kate and I would Skype every night and I would just cry to her about how I wanted to come home and how much I missed her. That summer quickly turned into one of the best summers of my life quickly. I missed Kate but I realized that I was supposed to be out there having these amazing experiences. I was sad to see the summer go but excited to be with Kate again and to be rooming with her in the coming year. Which brings me to this last year of our relationship thus far.

This year has been one of the best, most challenging years of my life as I have mentioned MANY times before this. I apologize for mentioning it so many times, but this time of my life has really shaped me to be the person I am today. I have just learned so much about myself and about life this past year. Anyway, moving down to school was bitter-sweet, as many things have been this past year. I was so excited to be with my roommates again with the addition of my best friend this time, but I was leaving the man that I had fallen in love with. We were going to be on opposite ends of the state and I knew that it was going to be challenging but we were going to try and make it work.

Anyway, it was so good to be back with Kate. Last semester I was thinking about transferring up to Utah State and that was a scary thought for Kate and I. We didn't like the sounds of being far away from each other again but if that was what needed to happen, Kate was more than willing to support me in that. Well plans changed and I ended up staying. I was going through probably one of the hardest trials of my life. I had never been so heartbroken, confused, depressed and discouraged in my whole life.

Kate has been there for me every step of the way through this whole healing process. She has always had faith in me that I would pull out of this and be okay. All the sleepless nights of just letting me talk, and listening to me like broken record, she has been there for me. Kate is the definition of a true friend. I can honestly say that I don't think that I would still be in Cedar going to school right now if she wasn't here by my side cheering me on day in and day out. There have been times I have just wanted to give up, but she won't let me, and I can't thank her enough for that. Life has taken it's course and I will actually be transferring up to Utah State next Fall. This was anticipated to eventually happen, but I didn't realize it was going to be so soon. Even though Kate and I will be so far apart, I know that she will still be there for me and I will still be there for her. "Nothing changes" is what we always say.

Thank you Kate for always being there for me. You have helped me see the potential I can become and you have given me hope to get through these past few years. I love you so much and could never thank you enough for the memories and just for everything you have done for me. I am so blessed to have you in my life and I thank my father in heaven everyday that you are. I don't know why I was blessed enough to get you as a best friend but I know that it was for a purpose. Heavenly Father knew I couldn't do this whole life thing without you, so I appreciate you in my life. Happy Birthday today. I am so grateful for your parents for bringing such an amazing daughter of god into this world so that I could be blessed by you, as many are. You are amazing and you touch the lives of so many. Thank you for your example and for your ongoing love and concern for me. You're simply the best and I love you lots!

Can't express enough thanks,

Merilee

Thank You . . . for your wisdom

"Each of us can look back upon someone who made a great difference in our lives, someone whose wisdom or simple acts of caring made an impression upon us. In all likelihood, it was someone who sought no recognition for their deed, other than the joy of knowing that, by their hand, another's life had been made better."

~Stephen M. Wolf

Throughout my life there have been many different people who have cared for me and have shared wisdom with me. Trying to narrow this one down was hard but I was trying to think of someone who has offered me a lot of wisdom in the last little while.

My mind automatically switched to the period in my life where. I feel I have grown the most and learned the most about life and myself. That time of my life was this summer. This last summer I was fortunate enough to move out to California to work and live with my amazing sister Melanie and her family. This was an incredible opportunity for me to be able to share my testimony everyday and to grow closer to not only my father in heaven, but my amazing sister and her cute family.I was so blessed that they welcomed me into their home so freely and for making my amazing summer possible. Melanie is an amazing woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. She is one of the most, if not the most, selfless person I know and is always looking for some way to serve someone. She has offered me a variety of wisdom that I have truly taken to heart. This summer my relationship with Melanie grew immensely and now I feel as if I am part of her own family as if she was my adoptive mother. I wish I could say that I'm going back again this summer but there are other experiences and opportunities the lord has in store for me this summer. I miss them so much and hope to be able to go visit soon.

I look up to Melanie in many aspects of life and hope that someday I will be able to be half as amazing as she is. Melanie has made a difference in lives of many throughout the world. She has never been one for needing any recognition for the wonderful things she does for another, she honestly just serves those people because she loves them. She would be willing to do just about anything for anyone and that is amazing. I look up to her so much and hope that I can make a difference in the lives of others, as she has. I'm so grateful for Melanie and all the wisdom and simple acts of kindness she has offered me in my life.

I love you so much Mel and will never be able to thank you enough for being there for me at such a vital part of my life as I learned and grew so much over the summer of 2010 and as I continue to grow. Thank you for always having a listening ear and for continuously looking out for me. For all the calls just checking up on me and making sure I'm doing alright and just for simply thinking of me. I love you and I feel privileged to call you a sister, adoptive mother, and friend. Thank you for all you have done for me and for the lives of so many. You have taught me so many lessons through your example of patience, love, effective communication, and what true happiness is. You are simply amazing and I appreciate you and your amazing example to me in my life. Thank you for all the wisdom you have offered to me and for continuing to share your wisdom with me. I love you more than you know.

Forever indebted,

Mer

Thank you . . . for making a difference

"It's not what we have in our life, but who we have in our life that counts."

- J.M. Laurence

Where do I even begin to list the people in my life that this particular quote relates to. I am blessed with so many people in my life that make my life better and just the happy, blissful life I enjoy everyday. I have previously mentioned a few, but tonight I have chosen to focus on my roommates since they are the ones I spend day in and day out with. We have created a little family of our own in apartment 44

and I will cherish the times I have spent with these girls forever. I can't believe that I'm not going to be with these creeps everyday when this month comes to a close.

It's hitting me more and more everyday but it's just so weird to think that I'm not going to be with them all everyday anymore. These girls have been there for me and there is no way I will ever be able to thank them enough for all they have done for me.

So I would like to pay tribute to each of them, for all they have done for me. Thank you "Johnson family," it sure has been a fun run.

So first I would like to pay tribute to my dear Alexis. Lexi was a new addition to our apartment this year and was brave enough to take up the challenge of living with all people who we all knew each other before moving and she knew no one. Lexi is a fun loving person and makes friends like wildfire. She is always out doing something fun always with a new friend. Lexi is good at making friends and is always inviting us to go somewhere and to do something. Lexi has been fun to live with and I'm going to miss her funny comments and her story telling that are on going circles that usually I end up really lost and don't even know what she's talking about. Thanks Lexi for being so cute and just fun loving. You have been a great example to me of accepting others and going out there and simply making as many friends as possible.

Next is Alyssa. Alyssa and I met last year as roommates of Apartment 44. We didn't necessarily click right at first, but little did we know, we were in for a friendship of a lifetime.

Alyssa is smart, witty, and easy going. I am so grateful for Alyssa and for the on going support and love she offers to me. I am going to miss her always snuggling up next to me and her witty lines she'll throw out of nowhere that totally and completely catch me off guard. Thank you Alyssa for always making me feel beautiful and loved and for always laughing at my lame jokes, even when they aren't funny at all (it makes me feel good because she is so freaking funny herself). I'm gonna miss that and you. Keep an eye on Kate for me will ya?

Then there is Miss Katy. Katy and I met as well last year for the first time. Like Alyssa, Katy and I didn't click right at first, she was shy and I was intimidated by her, but as soon as we warmed up to each other we never looked back. Katy is passionate, sensitive, and a good friend. I will never forget some of the talks we've had on our nightly drives

together and for all the memories we have together. Katy has been there for me through thick and thin and we have been able to help each other through some pretty tough times. Katy, thank you for your example to me of being different and for accepting all people. You have really opened my eyes to certain things in my life that I have been pretty closed minded to in my life and I can never thank you enough for those things. Thank you for listening to me like a broken record and for always believing in me and never giving up on me.

And then there is Kate. Where to even begin. Kate and I grew up together but didn't become best friends until my Junior Year of High School. It's crazy to think that we have only been best friends for 3 almost 4 short years but those have been the best three years of friendship I have ever shared with someone. We were fortunate enough to add Kate to our Apartment 44 family after a lot of convincing and praying about getting her to come to SUU. I honestly don't know if I would've made it through this last year of my life without her here by my side everyday of this past year. Thanks Kate. Kate is beautiful inside and out and is the literal definition of BEST friend. Not only has she been an amazing friend to me, but everyone she comes in contact with. I love and appreciate you Kate and all that you do for me. Thanks for all the "pick me up" chats and for all the "Mer and Kate Dates." (even though they make our roommates mad.) Next year is going to be rough without you and I'm going to miss not seeing your beautiful face everyday. Thank you for never giving up on me and for always being a shoulder to lean on and simply brightening my day. I love you to the moon and back and can't thank you enough for the past 4 years and for many more to come.

These girls have blessed and enriched my life and I am so blessed to be able to not only call them my best friends and roommates, but my family. It has been an amazing year ladies. Thank you for all your love and support throughout this year. It has literally been the best of times and the worst of times and there is no way that I could've done it without you all. I know that God placed you all in my life at this particular time for a purpose and I will forever be indebted to him for sending me such amazing women. I love you all and am going to miss you all like crazy!

To an epic year with the Apartment 44 Family!

Love you Girls!

With all my heart and more,

Merilee

Thank You... for being in our world

"There are people who one appreciates immediately and forever. Even to know they are alive in the world is quite enough."

~Nancy Spain

This is a picture from the day I got my job at the Southern Utah University Financial Aid and Scholarships office. I was so excited and I couldn't wait. Little did I know I was going to be working with and meeting some of the most amazing people I have ever or will ever meet. I have been so blessed to have the co-workers and bosses I have had to work with this past year. I am going to miss them all so much as I transfer up to Utah State this next semester. I wish I had a picture of all these beautiful people but I have yet to get one with all of them. I am determined however, and I WILL get one with all of them before I leave. I will post it as soon as I do. I would just like to give a little shout out to those who have truly helped me with work and just getting through life this past year (especially last 6 months).

First, Heather. Heather was the one who hired me and the first lovely person I was able to meet. Heather was an amazing supervisor and helped me first get settled and trained. She has been not only an outstanding boss to me but a good friend. Heather and I have talked about everything from heart break to running and different interests. Heather will be a friend of mine forever.

Jessica was next. Jessica is another student worker with me and she took me under her wing when I first got hired. We have had some fun times at that desk planning her wedding and having chats. She has so willing to help answer any questions and help me get the hang of things. Thanks Jessica for all you have done. Love ya girl!

Then there was Graeson. Graeson is one of the most sincere people I know. He is down to earth and super easy to talk to. He has a way with helping people in such a positive way and is super willing to help anyone. Graeson and I have become good friends outside of work as well. He has become one of my closest friends this semester and appreciate all he has done for me. Everything from helping answer my questions at work to simply becoming one of my best friends. You're amazing Graeson. Thanks for all you do!

Then there was my girl Sydney. Syd and I took a little longer to get close but as soon as we did, we hit it off! Syd and I have become really close through taking breaks together at work, to hitting the dance floor on the weekends together. I have had some of the most in depth conversations with Syd and am grateful for the friendship I have with her. Thanks for everything Syd!

Sir Randy to the rescue. Oh what would I do without Randy. Randy has been so great to help answer all my questions and the questions of the students. I appreciate all you've done to help me figure out everything at work and for still continuing to answer my questions when I don't know the answers and need help.

My lovely boss Brandi! Brandi has been an amazing boss. She has been so patient to work with me and my crazy schedule. I have probably switched my schedule around 758439827457 times this semester and she has just worked with me. Also, she has been super patient with me and my tardiness to work. Thanks so much for your patience with me Brandi, I appreciate it. Brandi has been so great to continue to answer my questions and help me with anything I need. Also, Brandi and I like to share newest blogs with each other, as well as music. I have enjoyed having Brandi as a boss and I feel like I have grown so close to her as well. You too will be a friend of mine forever. Thanks for everything.

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. I have mentioned Jamie in previous posts. Jamie has been like an older sister to me since day one. Jamie has been there for me every step of the way in all my huge decisions these past several months. There is just something about Jamie, she can get me so say anything even if I don't want to. I appreciate all the talks we've had and for all the help she has offered to me and helping me get my future plans figured out. Thank you for your love and support in everything Jamie. I truly feel like you have been like my older sister and that has been so nice to have when I'm so far away from my family. You're the best!

Malinda. You are awesome! I can always count on Malinda to make me laugh. Whether it's over a funny IM she sends me, or some funny comment she says under her breath, she's hilarious. Thanks for all your help as well Malinda, you have been awesome!

Last, but certainly not least my dear Alene. Alene has been like an adoptive mother to me this past year and I hope for the rest of my life. She is constantly looking out for me and really for everyone. She is one of those people that honestly cares to help others as much as she can. She is willing to do anything and everything in her power and is just amazing. Thank you so much Alene for keeping an eye out for me and making sure that I'm keeping my head on straight. I am going to miss you so much and miss your smiling face. Thanks for all you do.

I could seriously go on and on about the amazing people I work with. I know that my roommates are probably honestly sick of hearing about how amazing they are but I can't help but talk about these amazing people constantly. Thank you for everything you all do for me. I'm going to miss you all. It has been an amazing year and I will cherish our friendships forever. You're all amazing! Thanks for everything!

Today- I am grateful for the people I work with in my life and I just know that they are all going to be somewhere in the world somewhere doing something good always. I'm so blessed to have you all in my life.

With a grateful heart,

Merilee :)