Monday, May 24, 2010

Recognizing Tender Mercies

So between the overcast weather and just feeling really out of place, I was feeling really down the other day. I have been living back in Kamas for about a month and I just feel really weird being back home. It has been nice to spend some quality time with my family and with my best friends but it has just been hard because I have moved on from the whole high school stage of life and I have felt like I have been sucked back into that stage a bit with picking up a few shifts at the pool and just being around town and seeing people from high school. Anyway, I have just been really anxious to move to California and I honestly didn't know if I was going to make it till the 31st to move. I have really been looking forward to moving and just getting back into the swing of being busy instead of having all the time in the world to be a loser and sit around and do nothing all day everyday but all at the same time I'm scared to go somewhere where I have no friends and not being able to be with my own friends everyday. So I was really emotional and just feeling like I needed to get away and have a fresh start. So as soon as I got home from tending my sisters kids all day I checked my facebook (as I do way too much) and I saw that I had a message in my inbox. So I checked it and it was from an old friend from soccer and it was one of the nicest, most sincere messages that I have ever received. It seriously what I needed right at that moment and it brought on more tears, some happy, but I was still a bit down.

Anyway, so I decided to go for a run, as I like to do, especially when I am feeling stressed, and it made me feel so much better. At the beginning of my run I was still pretty emotional and down. As I ran down the road I saw a herd of Elk and they were all staring at me. Then they began to run out in the field so it was kind of like they were running along with me. They all came to a fence and jumped it no problem accept the last one. It struggled to get over and fell a couple of times but just kept trying to get over so that it could catch up with the rest of the group. So watching this elk struggle got me thinking that we all struggle in life. We are all fighting in this life and sometimes are easier than others but just like this elk, I'm struggling at this particular time in life. I knew that if it kept trying to get over the fence then eventually it would, and it was the same for me, if I just keep trying to get through life and hold on, that it would all be okay. So as I continued my run the elk were out of sight for awhile and I was just thinking about life and how we are here to be tested and as I am still trying to figure out where I fit in in life right now that as long as I stay close to the lord that everything will work itself out. Anyway, lots of thinking and telling myself that it's okay and that I will figure this all out sooner or later. So as I continued my run I just started noticing all the beautiful things around me. It literally took my breath away just realizing how lucky I am to have grown up in such a beautiful place. I was so distracted by all the beauty surrounding me that I decided I should probably head back home because I had been running for a long time and getting further and further away from home and I didn't know if it was going to start raining again. All of the sudden the sun came out and I honestly couldn't have been more happy than I was at that moment because I realized that I am so blessed to be in the place I was at that very minute. I am so thankful for the tender mercies I have in my life and for the lord helping me see those tender mercies in my own life especially when I am having a hard time in my life. Starting this blog and calling it "Looking at the brighter side of life" really has helped me be more optimistic and to look for the better things in what I am experiencing. It has been an amazing opportunity to write about my feelings and impressions about life. I am so blessed to have the life I have and to have grown up in such a beautiful place. There is so much out there for us to learn and experience and just trying to find the better in all of our trials and experiences makes life much more enjoyable and happier. I am so thankful for all of my experiences I have had in life and I can't wait to have many more tough, and exciting ones. Can't wait to add my California experience into my memories. Life is good. Live it up!

Peace, Laugh, and Love

Miss Merilee Goates :)

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